


It Doesn’t Add Up

by nyantakkun



Category: JO1 (Japan Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, How Do I Tag, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24658771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyantakkun/pseuds/nyantakkun
Summary: Shosei and Sukai both took themselves out of each other’s equations. Problem solved for them, they think.
Relationships: Kinjo Sukai/Ohira Shosei
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	It Doesn’t Add Up

Shosei just broke up with his now ex-boyfriend, Kinjo Sukai, after an argument they had. He was tired anyway, seeing everyone who confronted him about his relationship with Sukai. They are mostly just annoying jealous people who like Sukai but they wasted Shosei’s time to the point he thought it’s not worth it (wasn’t it supposed to be Sukai’s own responsibility?). The time he spent chasing those obsessive people away was not worthy because they, Sukai and Shosei, weren’t that serious to begin with.

_ ‘Let’s be chill about it. No one is going to be uncomfortable in this and if one of us do feel uncomfortable, we could just end it all.’ _

_ ‘Agree with that. End it thoroughly as if we’ve never had this thing’_

Shosei thinks it is not hard to move on from this relationship. He just has to make everything clear between his and Sukai’s things like their Netflix account, or who is going to keep the dining voucher they got and so on.

And also paying Sukai back for the last meal they had.

Their argument wasn’t supposed to blow up. If they weren’t too tired at that time, it wouldn’t end up like this. But things got heated up when the weather was too hot and they were too exhausted after classes. Everything was missing a beat and the way they interpreted each other words was getting worse and worse.

In the end, they just ran each other off, saying that they were just physically attracted to each other to begin with, and how their personalities were complete opposites (or more like telling each other’s bad traits). It was the battle of getting into each other’s heads, both having their own justifications. And after they calmed down, their heads and egos led them to breakup.

If someone asks Shosei how does he feel about the breakup, he will still say he feels nothing. Nothing to lose and regret. And he only needs his head and simple logic to say that, he thinks they didn’t built their relationship based on feelings, it’s just their body deciding. It is more like an equation and his existence right now can’t solve Sukai’s equation. Same goes to Sukai’s existence right now can’t solve Shosei’s equation, that they both took themselves out of each other’s equations. Problem solved for them, they think.

Today marks a month they have broken up and Shosei still accidentally buys more food than he needs. Sometimes he just puts it somewhere nearby and waits for some stray cats to eat it. Today is still the same, he bought too many convenience store foods that he feels dumb. So he puts the extra foods on the ground and watch the cats eating. His mind wanders to the argument and thinks about how stupid it was.

And every thoughts starts with “if only”.

Maybe they can just pretend that it never happened. Maybe they can always find their way back to each other. But they are not ready to lose their ego and let their hearts talk.

He still doesn’t admit that he has regrets. Everyday after realizing he bought too much foods, he tried hard to push the thoughts of regret away.

And everyday he’s restarting his days without Sukai.

“You both laid your hands on each other since day one, you just need a person who is gonna lay their hands on you and vice versa.” Shion laughs as they walk after class.

Shosei thinks he should laugh it off like it was nothing. But for the first time he lets his head rest and just feel the feelings he is having. He hates it. Every memories resurfaces like flower buds in spring.

All of sudden, he just wants to eat some takoyaki, from the shop he and Sukai like the most, still half annoyed remembering it has been him and Sukai together going to the certain shop buying takoyaki. And going there alone is never the same.

After buying it, as usual, he walks around with a small plastic bag of takoyaki, waiting for the takoyaki to cool a bit before eating. Just like how he did it before. The walk is slow despite walking in a busy area with people bustling around. Shosei is lost in the thought that something feels off and hollow and it is when he eventually thinks that, maybe, he can stop using his head for real and follow what his heart wants, though his brain keeps on saying it is just him not getting used to the habits of not being together with someone else.

Shosei halts his walking, eyes caught the sight of the same transparent plastic bag with a box of takoyaki inside and a familiar pair shoes. His heart skips a beat and he can feel his throat tightened at the sight. He is sure the person wearing that shoes also notices something because they stop walking. When he looks up, he is served with a sight of Kinjo Sukai, wearing the black shirt he has seen a lot, carrying the same box of takoyaki he has been carrying. And that makes him hyper aware that he, inside, is missing Sukai more than he thought he was.

Sukai looks tired and Shosei is immediately worried.  _ How was the exam? Is there any problem? Is he eating well? _ And the worries come with self-centered thoughts like did Sukai bought the takoyaki while thinking of him? Just like how he thought about Sukai?

No words comes out from both their lips and it is suffocating. Suffocating enough to the point that Shosei can’t help but walk towards Sukai and grab his hand, dragging Sukai to the nearest hidden alley and kisses Sukai like no tomorrow. Sukai too can’t stop himself from circling his arms around Shosei’s waist and pulling him closer like he might lose Shosei (again). They kiss desperately, trying to feel each other with different depth of feelings. This time, they don’t have to stop themselves from falling for each other too deep and they realize they have been falling but just in denial, drown in the fear of hurting, fear of having it one sided without knowing that they were just torturing themselves somehow.

When they part, Shosei can feel the tears on his eyes rolling down his cheeks. It makes Sukai’s heart break. Shosei is beautiful. His Shosei. And he doesn’t want his Shosei to feel hurt again. He kisses the corner of Shosei’s eyes, keeping those tears away. He brings Shosei to his embrace and kiss the top of Shosei’s head, whispering the words he has been wanting to say again and again.

“Be mine, Shosei. And I will be yours. Fully yours. Not just my body but also my soul, my heart too. All yours.”

In response, Shosei tightens the embrace, burying himself deeper into Sukai’s neck, whispering the answer of the question in Sukai’s head.

“I am yours. You already have my heart, Sukai. And let me claim yours.”

**Author's Note:**

> They should have given us the takoyaki ԅ(♡﹃♡ԅ)ԅ(¯﹃¯ԅ)


End file.
